Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Derek's Name

A few months ago, I took Camden to the ER because of his persistent stomach flu. It was the middle of the night and I was growing worried that he would get dehydrated. When the insurance lady came into his room and was reviewing his information, she asked about Derek since his information was before mine in Camden's file. I told her he had passed away a couple months before. She didn't say anything and put a large, extravagant X through Derek's information and moved on. In an instant she didn't just cross out his name and number, she seemed to cross out his life in Camden's file and made it seem like it had no meaning any longer.

In these situations, I don't expect everyone who finds out that my husband has died to give me their sympathy. I just wish they would consider that the name "Derek Beach" has meaning. It means a fantastic father, a wonderful husband, and a good man. They don't get to see his beautiful smile when they hear his name like I do nor do they get to feel my grief when I have to say he has passed away. It seems to be the plight of the person facing loss--that the name of the one we love and have lost isn't as sacred to everyone else as it is to us.

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